You never call your kid nuts. Never. No way. That’s out of bounds and off limits. Parents don’t go there talking about their own children. Other people’s children, sure, why not? But your own, nope! That isn’t to say they’re not nuts. More than likely, they are, especially if you have a toddler. Every parent knows their kid is bonko. But you don’t say it out loud. You don’t mention it among civilized company. You kind of pretend they’re normal, sane, and didn’t just crash into that wall at high speed, only to turn to you and say, “I fell on my butt.” This is what I’m coming to understand as the parent of a 2 1/2-year-old. You invent nice, delicate, PC ways to explain your child’s behavior, and her … um … quirks. Yeah, quirks. That’s it. She has quirks. That’s why she tried to brush her eyeballs with a toothbrush, or nearly flushed herself down the toilet. That’s why she says things like “poopie music” and wants me to smell her dirty shoes. You invent little phrases and sayings to explain all this stuff: She’s having a moment. A circuit must have fried. She’s unique. She’s special. There’s not as much oxygen going around as there used to be. Must be too much sugar in her diet. Must be all those double espresso lattes. Our new one is not so subtle, but speaks more to a time of day than a frame of mind: the 5 o’clock crazies. … Continue reading The … um … ‘Quirks’ of a Toddler